New Realizations

Back to back tagging happening in my blog. Now this is for Sree. So I was to do a lot of introspection for this one, but that got my rustic mind running….

1. I've come to realize that my boobs...
...are where they should be

2. I've come to realize that my job...
...is something that I don’t hold currently.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
...people would clear the streets, but let me drive first.

4. I've come to realize that I need....
...more time to spend with my loved ones.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
...something precious in life but I can’t ever get it back.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
...people are pre-judgmental about me.

8. I've come to realize that money...
...matters!

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
...are just too stuck up on their ideas that they will never listen to you.

10. I've come to realize that I’ll always....
...have the love and support of my family, no matter what.

11. I've come to realize that my siblings...
...is (just the one for me) is the best thing that has happened to me in this lifetime.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
...is the most amazing lady I will ever know.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
...is something without which I feel totally handicapped.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
...i wanted to crawl back into the bed again

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep…
...i went over the to-do list for today

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking....
...that I will miss my tennis because of the rains, but I don’t mind the rains.

17. I've come to realize that my dad....
... is my Hero.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
...a lot many people in my friends list always have something interesting posted.

19. I've come to realize that today...
...i am on seventh heaven as always

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
...is like many other nights when I sleep very very late

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
...is another day where I have a lot many things to do

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
...fulfill my dreams and goals in life.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...
...don’t want to force anyone, individual choice

24. I've come to realize that life...
...life without my loved one is nothing

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
...will be the Ganpati festival weekend, my best friend Ganesha

26. I've come to realize that the best music to listen to when I am upset...
...is Punjabi music, instantly lifts my mood up

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
...have never been my true friends, except for just a choicest few

28. I've come to realize that this year...
...is a beginning of a new phase of my life

29. I've come to realize that my ex...
...is past and past should be forgotten.

30. I've come to realize maybe I should...
...trust less of people.

31. I've come to realize I love....
...my freedom.

32. I've come to realize that my past...
...can never be changed but I can learn from it and move on towards a better future.

33. I've come to realize that parties...
...are the places where you go to socialize with people with whom you would not really like to hang out with otherwise.

34. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
...(good terrified) of starting anything new in life

35. I've come to realize that my family...
...are my constant source of inspiration and undying support in my life.

36. I've come to realize that my life...
...is moving fast and if I don’t keep up then I will be left behind

I would like to tag all my friends here.... so here I go, the list could get long, warn you :P

Manushee, Chetan, Sree, Kinjal, Nabeel,Vivek(@viveksingh), Nadhiya(@nadhiyamali), Meeta(@kyrasinging2), Danish (@danishctc), Ashwini(@ashkd), Shweta(@smilinggal), Aanchal(@AanchalM), Kanishka(@kp1200), Mohini (@spicychutney), Srushti(@srushtirao)

Salute to the Heroes

Today is Vijay Diwas, the 10th anniversary of the Kargil War. Today we remember the brave soldiers who laid down their lives for the motherland. The official estimates say that 527 were martyrs, 1,363 soliders were wounded. We attained victory at the cost of losing our bravest soldiers and destruction of countless families. But these are the harsh realities of war, we accept it or not we have to live with the loss of these heroes for the rest of our life.
Kargil war was the first war that my generation witnessed. Wars of 1962, 1965 & 1971 were just stories we heard from our parents and read in our history books. The 1999 Kargil war was our reality. The television bought the war in our drawing rooms; for the first time India witness the atrocities of war and none of us liked what we saw. But that's the reality of war, we like it or not we have to live with it, live with the guilt that while our brave soldiers were fighting to keep us safe in our homes; we were just sitting and watching it all unfold on television.
For us, Kargil was a war fought on far away land in the mountains of the Himalayas. The reality of this war has never hit us hard. But for the soldiers who scale these mountains, it's a hard everyday reality. The families of the soldiers live the nightmare of losing their loved ones. But the brave soldiers fight all the odds; their family have sleepless nights, so that we all sleep well in the comfort of our homes.
Sometimes movies do show the reality of life; LOC Kargil showed how difficult the battle was; Lakshya portrayed the determination of a soldier; Dhoop showcased the life of a family after they loose their son in the battlefield. But we never seem to understand the grimnnace of the wars. Maybe because we are not losing part of ourselves in it. We are so used to the comforts of our air-conditioned homes that we tend to overlook what exists even outside it's realms, then how can we look at the mountains and see what the soldiers are going through?
And what about the government? Are they not responsible for providing the soldiers with the best of facilities? Shouldn't it be the top priority of a government to take care of it's soldiers? Do they just care for the people who actually go and cast votes for them? It pains my heart when I see images of army officers camping in Delhi to get equal pay as the officers of their ranks in civilian duty. It's a shame on the government and all of us that our soldiers have to struggle for what is rightful theirs.
Peace always comes at a price. The price we have paid for peace after the Kargil war is the lives of our brave soldiers. But was their sacrifice really worth it? I don't see any peace around; I don't see the families of the martyrs feeling proud of the country for which the heroes laid there lives; and the tensions on the border is no where close to an end. People hold the military men in high esteem; army forces are one of the highly respected around but still do not give them what they deserve. It's my sincere appeal to everyone that in our own small way lets do what we can for our brave soldiers. Lets fight this battle with them, so that next time there is no Kargil. Lets work together to build a better India, India where no brave soldiers are lost. Let there be peace on earth and let it start with me.

Rains...

As I sit at my window, watching the rains I can feel nothing but a feeling of joy. With every drop of rains falling, it seems like the world around me is getting a new life; the earth is totally refreshed. As for me, I am totally lost in the music of the rains. The rainy season bring with it, a feel of joy, new beginnings and pure happiness. The rains make me want to become a child again, go back to those carefree days when with the first showers we all kids would rush out of the house to soak in the monsoon madness. We did not care if we would get sick, catch cold or dirty or clothes; all we knew is that we wanted to be the first to experience the joys of monsoons. I have happy memories of my grandma telling us to go and get soaked in the first showers; according to get it was good to let the first drops from the heavens fall on your body and she was so right.
Mumbai and Rains have an integral bonding; the monsoons brings with a feeling of joy, it gets with it the message that now you have got a break from the summers and now you can enjoy the beautiful rainy season. The walks on Marine Drive and Worli Seaface are a must to do during every monsoons. As the waves rise above its embankments and shower on you, you cannot but help feel eternal bliss. The thought of a group of us trying to shelter under a tiny umbrella always brings smile on my face. We all know well that the umbrella is too tiny to accomodate so many of us but the joy of sharing the umbrella even though it means that we get totally soaked, is an amazing experience. It brings us all closer and connects our hearts.
Hindi Movies have used the rains to their atmost potential. Rains have shown love blooming between two people like in Hum Tum or 1942-A love story or the feeling of complete bliss expressed by Kareena in Chameli. Rains have a certain degree of romantism attached to them; just the thought of rains might bring the memories of ones loved ones to our mind. How can one ever forget the song "Pyaar hua, Ikraar Hua" in which Raj Kapoor & Nargis declare their love for each other while standing under an umbrella, caring only about their love for each other, with no concern about the rains around them. They were lost in love for each other and the rains provided the perfect set-up for this union of two hearts. The naughty side of love is also seen in the rains through movies. I love the song of Namak Haram "Aaj rapat jaaye toh humein na uthayo" picturised on Amitabh & Smita Patil. There is full masti and love in the song. The couple in the song just cares to have fun in the rains while they declare their love for each other. Rains through their beauty work wonders at bringing heart closer. If your loved one is mad, try taking them on a long drive in the rains; I bet s/he would just forget all their anger and come right back in your arms.
I am a rain baby. I was born during the rainy season and according to my mom the day I was born it was the first rains of the season. So for me there is a double attachment to the rainy season. Rains bring with it the feelings of happiness for me. I can just get completely soaked in the rains and forget all my troubles. I can become a child again when I feel the rains falling. One cup of hot coffee with my favorite book is a perfect rainy day for me. I always wish to sing the nursey rhyme (with a little twist), "Rain Rain don't go away... Come again and again... I always want to play..."

Let's there be freedom to choose...

Everyone around seems to be talking about the Section 377. The Delhi High Court ruling said that section 377 is against the right of citizens. The Supreme Court has asked the government to take a stand on this issue. People who want the law to be abolished say that the ruling of the Delhi HC is historical and in with the changing times. Others like religious leaders who are against rights for homosexuals are shouting that these laws are against the grain of the Indian society. Then there are TV channels that are cashing on this by having debates for days without any concrete conclusion to the debates. But amongst all this we seem to forget that a person gay or straight is still one of us. He has the same right to lead his life as per his or her wishes just like you and I do. Karan Johar makes a stupid movie like Dostana and we say that the Indian society is opening up to the idea of homosexuality. But according to me we are miles away from making and accepting a Brokeback Mountain. My view is that a court ruling, few protests marches across the metros or making movies on this issue would not really solve the problem. The law is the problem but a bigger problem than the law is the fundamental attitude of the people. Unless people in the society are ready to accept the fact that not every man loves a woman or every woman loves a man, I do not see an end in sight for this issue.
We as Indians proudly say that we are a democratic country; people here have the freedom to do as they wish to. But we do not give the basic right to some of our citizens, the right to choose whom they wish to love. It’s like saying to them; you can live your life you want only if you follow the norms set by the society. If this is not double standard then what is? The sexual choice of a personal is a deeply personal matter. A person has the basic right to choose whom they want to be with, who is the society to dictate the terms of someone’s bedroom. Do these so called protectors of our culture ever go and stop a husband from sexual abusing his wife; Do they raise their voices and stand together when a husband or wife has cheats on their partners; or Do they ever make so much noise against child abuse? We have so many real issues that need a united front, why is that we cannot stand together to fight these issues?
Just because someone wants to be with the person of their own sex, does not mean that we cannot accept them in the society. They are just like us; they too have feelings. They feel love, anger, sorrow, happiness and all different emotions that we feel, so how can they not be part of our society. God never says just because you are gay, I love you any less. He takes us the way we are and as children of the same almighty we have to accept each other as we are. In today times, as we look around, everyday there are things happening that normally the religious leaders should stand up against. The Babri Masjid, Godhra, Polygamy, Forced Conversions, Terrorism, Religious extremism, Killing of innocents in the name of God, Child –Abuse, Rape, and so many others ills in the society; but I never see the religious leaders coming together, under one roof and say that we stand united against such mindless acts. Baba Ramdev never says that Yoga can cure religious hate. Then why single our own brothers and sisters? They are just trying to fall in love and be with someone, like any of us.
Delhi HC ruling on section 377 or the gay parades are tiny steps in the direction of changing the overall attitude of the society. It’s like our we just learning to crawl towards a more open and tolerant society; a society that does not discriminate a person based on his or her sexual orientation. This is the strangeness of our Indian society; we can do whatever we want behind close doors, no one will say a word but when you come out in the open and demand the right to do the same with all legal rights, people from all corners of the society will suddenly become the guardians of our culture. People say homosexual culture is not part of the Indian system; to such people I just want to say isn’t our culture the most welcoming culture in the world. Over centuries we have welcomed people from all over the world into our culture, made them feel at home and they have perfectly blended in the Indianness. Then why this discrimination with our own people; can’t we accept them the way they are? Indian culture teaches tolerance and love for all, then but discriminating aren’t we actually going against our own culture?
To the people who say homosexuality leads to diseases like AIDS, I just want to say please go back to the science class and get our facts right. If you are so concerned about the spread of AIDS then why not do something about prostitution, rape, child abuse, and drugs. I would like to see them work to curtail the spread of AIDS in all sections of the society. Just going on television channels and projecting yourself as guardians of the society, is not the solution. If you really believe in the issue, work for it. Why not work on tougher laws for child-abuse? Most cases of child-abuse take place in families and never get reported. These people should actually work on making the government pass the strictest laws against such un-punishable offences. Majority of the rape cases in India go unreported. Are we doing enough to save the females of our society? In Indian culture we place women on the highest pedestal, we give them the status of goddess and we rape the same female we call our mother, sister or wife. We love our daughters, wife and mother at home but once we go out, most of us would not think twice before maligning the “izzat” of women who are total strangers for us. If this is Indian culture then God also cannot save us here. If we want to protect our Indian culture, then fight for the right of our mothers, daughters and children. Work to protect them and then will you be hailed as the real heroes, the guardians of the Indian culture the way God wished it to be.
I wrote this only because I genuinely feel that it is time we change out attitude towards the people who have always been part of our Indian culture. It’s high time we open our minds and hearts to them, take them with in with open arms, as they are one of us.

Battle between Love Marriage & Arrange Marriage

So I am going to try and talk about the eternally ranging battle in society, Love vs. Arrange Marriage. Which one is better for today’s time? Why do people prefer one to another? Why does one method work for a person and other for another person? I always have had long arguments and discussions with friends over the way I feel works for me. But today I am going to try to keep a neutral opinion and talk about this.

With whom we want to spend our life with should be an individual choice. Family, society and the world at large come much later in the picture. It is the two individuals you decide it because it is their life; how they choose to get married is their choice. Love is a beautiful feeling. They say when one is truly in love, the whole world seems beautiful to you. I remember the old songs where when two individuals fall in love, the birds start chirping, streams start making music and there is happiness all around. If love is such a beautiful feeling then finding the person you love is the most beautiful journey you can take in your life. When two people meet, it is not always love at first sight. People meet as friends, get to know each other, spend time with each other and this way know if they are right for each other. In Love marriage you always have the time to get to know the person; the real person. When people meet for arrange marriage arrangement, they always know this that they have to make a good impression. It is all love-dovey, hunky-dorry in the start. Whereas when you are in a relationship before marriage, you get to see the good and the bad side of the individual. You know each other on a more intimate level; you are aware of the likes and dislikes of that individual. This would mean fewer surprises after marriage. The more time you spend with someone the more you get to know that person. Love marriage is all about the decision of an individual; there are no parents or relatives involved; they come into picture at later stage of the relationship. You are making decisions about your own life, as two grown-up individuals should do. There are no chachis and mamis trying to convince you for some random guy they feel is so very well suited for you. When you are in a relationship, you get to know each other’s deepest, darkest secrets and come to accept each other the way we are. You are responsible for your own actions, of the choices we make and if God-forbid things go wrong in a relationship then only you are to be blamed. You would not be saying to someone else that you choose that guy or girl for me and see where I have ended. Before your relationship ends in a love marriage, you have the dating and courtship period. The time when you and I are the only two people who exists in the world. The person you are marrying is no stranger for you; you actually have got time to know him/her before you two decide on getting married.

Arrange Marriage, just the thought of it send shudders down the spine of a lot of people. The idea of marrying a total stranger is completely alien in the western world but in India it seems to work. My parents had a typical arrange marriage and after so many years of marriage they are still going strong. There must be something in the arrange marriage that makes it tick. People must not be fool to go for an arrange marriage; they would be having a belief in this system which makes them choose it for finding their life partner. India is a collective system and not an individualistic system. Here people are attached to their family, friends and society. So when the decision of marriage takes place, people look for consensus from all direction before taking the plunge. When you get married in India, you just don’t marry a person, you marry the family, relatives and the society that individual lives in. So when an arrange marriage takes place, it is perceived as a joint consensus from all the spheres of an individual’s life. Arrange Marriage is backed by the society; you have a strong family support; you are not on your own here. Society & family aside, if we look at Arrange Marriage from an individual point of view then also you can see good points in it. The idea of starting a life journey together with a person where you both are in the process of knowing each other, learning about each other and in the process falling in love; is divine. In India when you get married, you just don’t marry the person but the whole family. You have to not only mould your self to the life of the partner but also that of his or her family. Arrange Marriages normally take place between people of the same cast and religion. The husband and wife are aware of each other’s customs and traditions and adjusting to it is easier. Arrange Marriage take place with the consensus of the family and society, so there is more acceptance of this kind of marriage in an Indian society.

So done with all the goody-goody points of both Love and Arrange Marriage; now for some bashing. Love Marriage when taken place without the consensus of family, can lead to unhappiness in the long run. You don’t have a family to support you during tough times and to share your happiness in good times. Even if the marriage takes place with the consent of parents, there can be clashes due to couple coming from different cultures. The belief systems with which they both are brought up with are different. They might differ in opinions on food habits, religious beliefs or what value system to impart in kids. Now lets talk about Arrange Marriage. Arrange Marriages are fixed through families; the couple actually get less time to get to know each other. Even if they do spend time with each other what is the guarantee that you will truly know the real person. No one wants to show the bad side of him or her. In today’s times, with individuals getting more and more independent, the idea of Arrange marriage seems a little old fashioned.

Marriage is the union of two souls. It is a beautiful commitment that two people make to spend the rest of their life together; to be with each other in sickness and health; happiness and sorrow. Whichever way one chooses to marry, we just have to know that there is someone out there that God has chosen for us and he will lead us to him. The path he chooses for us all may be different but the destination is the same; to finding our soul mate.